I have been told by every health care professional that I need to be in control. I am talking overall control of my life to predict the control of my diabetes. I need to allow my life to follow a direction that is indicative of healthy diabetes control, and with that will come positive results.
After 22 years, 7 months of hearing I need to be in control of my life, I can honestly say I am a control freak. I am obsessive about things in my life that I can control. My diabetes, my food, anything to do with my pump, cleanliness, money, work. I like to know I have control over all of these items. Maybe I do this to reduce stress, knowing if these things are all in line I am ok.....or perceived to be ok. Either way, it brings comfort to my mind to have this control.
Others can just "let things go". I can not. I need to know where my next paycheck is coming from. I need to know my blood sugar at almost all times. I need to know if my sister popped in at any moment the toilet would be clean (HA!).
I am convinced the need for these areas of control have stemmed from my diabetes. Being trained all those years to BE IN CONTROL has warped me into a control freak. Get me in a group, and I will lead. Put me in front of people, and I will talk. Ask me at any moment what my sugar is, I will know.
You have to find positive in every situation....sometimes you need to dig deep. Others may not agree, but in my life this is a positive trait from my diabetes.
2 comments:
I have always been OCD. I don't know if diabetes made me that way or if I was just that way from the beginning. It's hard to tell which caused which.
But I think a person has to be a little OCD to successfully manage diabetes. There's so much to keep track of.
I'm a control freak, too. But I think it just goes with the territory.
Perhaps it's a family trait?? :)
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